Apparently we are no longer allowed to speak of our body
parts in medical terms in Michigan.
I’m going to do it here, though, at least before Wisconsin manages
to outlaw it (which given our current, rich white-guy, misogynistic, majority legislature
is only steps away from happening).
Ready???
Vagina.
Vagina, vagina, vagina.
VAAAAAGGGGIIIIIINNNNNAAAA!!!!!
There. I said
it. Multiple times ‘cause that’s just
the kind of risk-taker I am. Guess
what? No thunderous lightning
bolts. No supernova. No Earth standing still on its axis. The moon’s still waxing and waning. Nothing’s turned topsy-turvy. I did not
go straight to Hell without collecting $200 (although when I get there
eventually, I’m going to be in charge anyway so I hardly think that’s much of a
threat). The only thing that happened
were that a few tight-assed crazies, who have hang ups with body parts that are
sometimes used for coitus being mentioned at all, just had a cow.
So, in honor of their newborn calf—delivered via vagina, mind
you—I shall moooo on this subject.
Saying the word “vagina”, the appropriate medical term for
what is often affectionately referred to as a: twat, box, vajayjay, bajingo,
bearded clam, bush, cha cha, coochie, cooter, hair pie, hoo-ha, love canal,
meow-meow, muff, nanner, poonanie, poontang, privates, pussy, snatch, vag, and
the ever-popular Elizabeth Regina—is apparently outlawed in the Michigan legislature
because…huh. Got me as to why.
Maybe they have a problem with the beav? Maybe someone is thinking Notorious G.O.D. takes
issue with people speaking of their body parts utilizing solid medical
terminology? Better not say “breast”
then. Or “tibia” either. (Oooo…tiiiibiaaaaa, that sounds downright dirty naughty, doesn’t it?? *winkity
wink*)
I’m guessing we don’t have to worry about God dropping the
bomb for saying the word “vagina” because…well, She created vaginas. And the
inspiration to call them “vaginas”. And the inspiration to call them all the
other sassy little nicknames we have for them.
You don’t bother creating something as perfect and wondrous as a vagina
(right down to its little name), and then outlaw it from being discussed. Lauded.
Celebrated even. The idea of such
insanity is just stupid. And God isn’t
stupid.
Wanna know who is stupid? The idiots in the Michigan legislature who
decided to ban the female representative from speaking because of her audacious
utterance of the totally magical word “vagina” in the middle of session. Bad, bad representative! How dare
she use appropriate medical terminology in a discussion regarding the glorious
kooka in the company of asshats with power.
*eye roll*
Representative Lisa Brown is a mighty smart cookie though. I think she has it dead nuts (or perhaps more
appropriately: “dead testicles”). If you aren’t allowed to say “vagina” in
session, you shouldn’t be allowed to legislate anything to do with it. Period.
*snickers*
Hey, and as long as we’re on the topic of appropriate
labeling of random body parts…peeeenis. Penis and vagina. Vagina and penis. There.
They’ve been said. In the same
blog. In the same paragraph! Twice! Guess what, Michigan House of Representatives? Not one damned thing happened. Wanna know why? 'Cause God really doesn’t give two chunks of
fecal matter about such things. Only you
nutjob dumbanuses in the majority making laws in Michigan care.
Well, I’m off to the gym to work my gluteus off. Still missing me, Karyn? I’m baaaack.
Until next moooo…
