It's been a while, hasn't it?
Well, I've been busy...a relatively recent family death...dealing with odd psychic experiences with a celebrity drama along with dealing with that celebrity's WEIRD fan base...aging parent issues...but those are blogs for another time (stay tuned). Maybe you're asking what could possibly get me writing again after a year and a half hiatus? What news could be THAT mootivating?
Seriously important stuff. Joyously life-changing. Let me explain...
Just (what seems like) a short while ago, my very best friend Patty (you remember her? MY Patty?) and I sat talking about marriage...how she could never let herself think about what that would look like because we didn't live in a world where she could even imagine being married to her longtime partner, Pat. That the people of this country would never let that happen, at least not in her lifetime.
I remembered feeling violently angry on her behalf...on the behalf of every wonderful person I knew that loved someone with whom they "knew" they could never allow themselves to imagine "till death do us part" legally. People who loved a lifetime, but at end of life were locked out of hospital rooms and funeral parlors and probate meetings...who were told marriage had conditions and that Love had nothing to do with any of it. It was so wrong my anger was visceral.
I was furious with the folks who played some <enter in whatever bullshit justification you think gives you a right to treat others with an unfair, heinous disrespect> card to oppress those who love differently than they do. I never understood the argument that someone else's relationship had any bearing on mine, so in my mind this "if gay people are allowed to get married, that minimizes my marriage" bit really says that person's marriage is shit anyway. Seriously, if a total stranger's marriage (same-sex or straight) can minimize yours, perhaps you need to rethink your relationship. But, I digress. (You remember my rants now, don't you?)
Me. Patty. Chatting. I vaguely remember telling her I believed that things could change, that there were more of us straight folks out there who believed in true equality and LOVE, that ever-elusive experience that we should embrace however it shows up on our doorstep. I told her I had faith that someday in the not so distant future, I would call Pat her "wife". I explained that my son, Eric, told me that things were changing because his generation thought differently...that his "aunts" Pat and Patty shouldn't lose hope.
Last June, the most remarkable thing happened. After a hard-won fight by some very brave people, Wisconsin made same-sex marriage legal. Other states were passing similar laws, but not without legal battles won by fearless vanguards. Eric was proving that his argument, that equality being closer than farther off, was right. Thing was, the woman who used to sing the Black Sock song to him and his older sister couldn't allow herself to be fully happy for herself because she still had friends imprisoned by backwards laws in other states who weren't allowed to imagine being married yet. She was crushed that there were those who were trapped in states that still said, "Liberty and Justice for ALL...well, except you."
That brings us to today. I sit here typing at my desk...weeping. Happy tears, yes, but relieved tears, too. Relieved that the SCOTUS got it right. Many thanks to all the brave folks who refused to be told they were less than citizens simply because of how Love looked when it knocked on their door. You are true heroes. I honor your fearlessness in fighting for what is right.
And my bestie, Patty? She and Pat were married last June. I attended the most gorgeous reception ever for them last December.
But, my dearest Patricia, it's today that I truly congratulate you both. Today you're married anywhere you go in this country. Finally. Today we all celebrate. I love you, guys.
Until next time, kiddies...
