Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I am woman. Here me mooo...


You gotta love a chick with a mind of her own.  You gotta love her even more when she’s got a kickass killer body and more self esteem than a lot of women three times her 18 years have.


Zoe Smith, you’re my hero.  Seriously.

You see, I can relate to Zoe Zo Zo.  I’ve never felt limited to the lacy, sweet, stay-at-home-barefoot-and-preggers, serve-my-man type of feminine mystique.  Perhaps that’s why I’ve always been a bit intimidating to a lot of men (or so I’m told anyway).  I will tell you what I think.  I’m not afraid to be someone’s wingman in a fist fight.  I push a lot of weight in the gym myself, even at the ripe age of 46.  Course, I also embrace my inner sex kitten.  (Oh, and in the event you’re worried that I might end up a dried up, old spinster, quite early on I found myself a fearless man whose mad confidence equaled my own, and everyday we share new adventures.)

In our society post-bra burning era, all went well for a while. But what has been becoming glaringly apparent in the past few years is that we’re seeing a strange re-emergence of “anti-feminism”, a good deal of which is being perpetuated by females in particular.  If you aren’t in a slightly cleavage-bearing, knee-length dress, tasteful stilettos, a ring of Joan Cleaver pearls around your neck, hair perfectly coifed and nails all frenched out while being demure and subservient to your man, you’re somehow “unfeminine”.  That’s a mighty limited view of what it is to be a woman, that’s for sure. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I like having my nails done.  I’m not opposed to flashing some flesh.  And Lord knows of my love for a wicked set of heels.  I even let my man have the upper hand without a fight sometimes.  But it’d better be my choice to create that image of myself, not because that’s the prescribed notion of what makes me “beautifully feminine”. 

Perhaps this shifting of our concept of womanhood is what needs to be at the core of today’s neo-feminist movement.  An understanding that by the sheer nature of having a vagina (holy shit, there’s that word again!), a woman can’t help but be feminine.

True feminism should be about expanding our choices as women, accepting every fluid aspect of feminine, thus widening our perceptions about what is appropriate for us as women both collectively and, even more importantly, individually. 

It’s about empowering ourselves with all the different ways that “feminine” can look, but then even more crucially, not judging one another for those very personal choices. 

It’s about not allowing some men (and I say “some” because I know plenty of men excited about women expanding their options and positive self-defining behaviors)—and their limited, often stereotypical notions of feminine—determine how women are allowed to view ourselves. 

It’s about affording ourselves a myriad of choices that increases our self confidence and self worth, that in turn, brings our whole society up a notch.

Look, I have a wide variety of female friends.  I have those that are “June Cleavers”.  They are completely and wonderfully fulfilled in their choice to behave in the traditional role of feminine.  I support and respect that.  I also have friends whose burnt bras came from Sports Authority rather than Victoria’s Secret.  These women are every bit as magically and perfectly feminine in their choice of expressing themselves as women.  I support and respect that, too.  Then there are my family and friends who fit into every nook and cranny in between.  The empowerment of feminine self definition is a deeply personal preference that deserves to be supported and respected by everybody.

Maybe that’s the big point Ms. Smith is trying to make then?  When we open our minds to the possibility that things can look differently (yet still appropriately) from what we currently perceive as “the way to do things”, we widen our own pool of choices as women (and men, for that matter).  Those additional options redefine societal norms of “feminine”.  Diversity means more shades of normal.  Now, how in the world can having more normalcy be wrong?

On the other hand, Zoe Smith may simply have been saying, “I like lifting heavy shit.  You don’t like it?  Cram it, fucko.  Because there are plenty of open-minded folks that do.”  And that’s simply the kind of attitude that makes me love her more.

Yeah, this feminist will be watching the Olympics this year, but not just for the gymnastics, swim and track events.  I’ll be watching to cheer on my new hero.  You go, Zoe!  Lift that heavy shift for me, for women, and for more ways to embrace femininity!  You rock!

Till we mooooo again…