I’m running for the governorship of Wisconsin in 2012.
Yeah, yeah, I know. The current guber isn’t planning on giving up his Machiavellian reign over his kingdom…er…ah, state just yet. Why as we speak, he probably has the one of the Koch brothers on line one while reaching for the speed dial to contact the National Guard on line two, trying to figure out how he can squash us middle class union folk down.
But I have a word for you readers: recall. Here’s some of the real reasons why since you won’t catch them on any of the local news networks. (Don’t go reading the yellow print, or watching the yellow-tinted newscasts; it’s probably worse for you than yellow snow!)
Don’t you know? Peaceful protestors are quite a threat. Why, they might chant things that you don’t want to hear about yourself. Or sing old threatening hippy folk songs. *shudder* Or WORSE, the national anthem while waving American flags! AUGHH!!!!! (Whew. I got way scared by that last one.) And they multiply like rabbits! Why, they incite other, non-union, non-public workers to join in the fight against your anti-civil rights maneuvers because while some of those folks may have voted for you, they had NO IDEA that you were 1) a dicktator who refuses to even listen to what a good portion of your constituency wants and 2) incapable of compromise with all members of your legislature—a necessary skill in the world of politics, I say.
But who needs to compromise when you can dictate? Rumor has it that you had the powers that be lock the doors while simultaneously welding the windows shut in an effort to keep food from reaching the protestors inside. http://blog.aflcio.org/2011/02/28/walker-welding-capitol-windows-now-to-keep-workers-from-passing-food-to-those-inside/ Hey, don’t worry about fire codes or anything like that, Heir Walker. I assume your dicktatorship is shutting off the water next? If you’re being honest with yourself, it’s not particularly surprising that some of those very same reasonable persons who voted for you might actually decide that they made a mistake. (For those of you who now realize your grave voting error, I understand the need to save face here, so I’m personally willing to avoid the whole finger-pointing bit. Plus, let’s be honest. He did misrepresent himself as a reasonable person when in fact he’s a power-hungry kook. It’s really not your fault.)
In fact, Dicktator Walker has pulled all sorts of forceful maneuvers at our state capitol to punish anyone, who in an effort to maintain true democracy, does what they feel is necessary to save these civil rights for the working class. (By the way, I’m a firm believer that walking away in this case IS doing your job. A special shout out to 14 fabulous, dedicated, brave politicians for realizing that sometimes your job includes “other duties as assigned or necessary”, which may require a whole lot of courage and stamina. Keep up the good work, my friends. Keep up the good work. Without you, this asshat would have gotten away with bending over the entire middle class and giving us the unlubed version of his “repair” bill.)
All I know is there are a whole lot of reasonable people that have just about had enough of Heir Walker’s shenanigans. And they should be at the enough’s enough stage. His behavior borders on the criminal. And perhaps, unconstitutional. http://budget.wispolitics.com/2011/02/milwaukees-city-attorney-says-budget.html
Here’s what I believe: the head guber should be the head negotiator as well. The person willing to work amenably with both sides of the aisle. Compromise is a necessity for this position because when you only win 52% of the vote and less than half of your state has actually voted, there’s a REALLY good chance that more than just that 48% minority who did vote is in disagreement with your practices, policies and general ideas. Confused? Scotty, you can’t run your policies solely based on a minority of the total population, even if it's the majority of the minority. You represent all of us, dumbass.
And let’s face it, he’s already admitted that all of this disgusting drama has nothing to do with the budget and everything to do with breaking middle class unions, and thus, eliminating middle class rights to fight for better work conditions. (For the record, unions are defined as an organization of employees formed to bargain with an employer. Note: no where in the definition does it say anything about lazy parasites and/or bloodsucking leeches. These ideas have been perpetuated by PAC groups formed by members of the 1% elite in order to keep us ALL down. Get us hatin’ on each other. Scary that this misperception seems to be working on some folks.)
In any case, what we got here are regular middle class workers who decided to pool together their efforts to better their work conditions. Yes, they happen to be public employees, but civil rights are civil rights. It doesn’t say civil rights but not for public employees, well, at least so long as the Dicktator doesn't get his way. Additionally, once you lose them, I can guarantee that blood will have to be shed to get them back. Look at other dictatorships. Our current head guber wants to get rid of that civil right, which in my opinion, doesn’t seem like the best idea for any of the members of the middle class. Start with public unions. Move to private ones. Hell, let’s just get rid of any of the laws that allow anyone in the middle class the right to litigate in wrongful employment practices and whatnot. Thank goodness people are starting to wake up here.
So now, we’re talking recall…well, that’s given that Dicktator Walker doesn’t mess up and get himself busted and tossed in the pokey for doing something stupid and illegal like actually hiring the “troublemakers” he’s been talking about hiring to stir up, well, trouble. You know, it’s important to stir up trouble with people who are peacefully protesting your attempts at stomping out their rights. *eye roll* That way, the very, very yellow local press can create drama that doesn’t exist (taking a pro-uberconservative stance, of course). If you want the real story, try the BBC. They seem to have a handle on it, at least the last time I checked. It’s depressing that one has to go thousands of miles away to get truthful, unbiased coverage, although I do think I’m going to like living in London someday. So recall, provided we don’t have a trial.
Recall. Why that means we’ll need a new governor come 2012. I think I’m going to throw my hat in the ring. I mean if a guy who openly says he’s going to take away your rights can get voted in, why, I think people would vote a wildcat like myself into office who says I won’t. Civil rights have been fought long and hard for by our ancestors. Blood was spilled for them. We cannot, CANNOT, take them for granted nor give them up. Times like these help us to appreciate their importance, I guess.
Balance the budget, you say? I think I’m going to set up a law to tax groups like “Americans for Prosperity” that are set up by the Koch brothers (from out of state, no less) in order to manipulate one sector of the middle class into warring with other sectors. In fact, those douchebags from out-of-state will be charged double. We KNOW they’ve got the money. I say, dole some of that sugar out to us regular dudes and dudettes.
We’ve seen what happens when we play supply side economics. Doesn’t work. Remember the big ole tax breaks that George W(eener) Bush gave out to his cronies? Our economy tanked out AND his good ole boys moved the working class jobs to Third World countries anyway (while giving outrageous bonuses to the company elite) because no matter how you look at it, the labor’s cheaper there because they don’t have unions in the Third World to fight for the everyday worker.
That’s another thing I’m gonna do. Create an environment where jobs exist for American workers. You, Mr/Ms Richierich? You wanna move your company to a Third World and screw the American working class? Fine. I’m going to create a law that makes your shit illegal to buy in this state. You need us to make your riches. Use Americans for your workforce, dammit. We know that it’ll cut into your billions and billions a little bit, and that will trigger a case of the greediness DTs, but I hardly doubt you’ll starve if you have to cough up a little more for the everyday worker. Think of the pride that you could have saying your product is American-made...
(At this point, I’d also like to take a little time to address John and Jane Doe from Anywhere, Wisconsin. You’ve got a bit of faulty logic happening for you. Public workers are not to blame for your old company moving jobs out of the US, forcing you to take a lower paying job. The sole blame for that falls upon the owner of that company, no matter how your old boss tries to spin it. Perhaps if they hadn’t given the big bonuses out to their managing elite while sending your job to China and India? Stop displacing your anger on the wrong people, please. I swear *raises right hand*; we're on the same side.)
The end game is this: You think you can fuck the working class, and then you expect us to buy your shit? Don’t think so, Biff. We need to go back to buying from companies that support American workers, thank you.
Well, that’s all I have for now. But I’ve got a little more time to map things out before January 2012 rolls around. Be looking for my name on the special election ticket though. I’ll be there under “M” for Moooooooo...
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